Performance
anxiety is a common sexual problem in which anxiety about
engaging in sexual activity becomes an overriding block
to the spontaneous flow of sexual feelings and thoughts.
For some reason it is more prevalent in men, it can however,
be overcome.
The
fear of sexual performance, or more accurately the fear
of not performing sexually, can affect sexuality in a variety
of ways. Though erectile dysfunction and other sexual hindrances
can have biological causes, for most people with performance
anxiety the problem is psychological.
Performance
anxiety can result in avoidance of sexual encounters, relationship
problems, sexual dysfunction and lowered self-esteem. Typically,
an awareness of performance anxiety produces so much preoccupation
with the problem itself that the person becomes less fully
involved in the sexual interaction, bringing about the very
failure that is feared. In one common scenario, as the anxious
partner worries about how to be sexually responsive and
spontaneous; he or she focuses on each detail of the lovemaking.
Anticipation
of the next sexual encounter arouses the same anxiety coupled
with the memory of the previous failure and often leads
to avoidance of sexual activity altogether. This may result
in one member of a couple mistakenly interpreting the situation
as a form of rejection. The underlying avoidance, however,
is usually not to reject one's partner, but to save face
in a way that helps the person feel more in control and
less guilty about being inadequate.
Fears
of sexual performance are likely to put a damper on sexual
arousal and cause loss of erection. Eventually the fears
may become so pervasive that they will become a self-fulfilling
prophecy and the man will experience an actual inability
to get or keep an erection. Over the long run, performance
fears may lead to an avoidance of sex, and loss of self-esteem.
Going
to a certified sex psychologist, or other psychologist who
has had experience in this particular area is often useful.
Always make sure that they're well-referred and that they're
people who are qualified. In addition, take some time to
learn stress skills and
relax about sex.