Coping Skills

Developing coping skills before and during a crisis can make a big difference in your life. Of course this is easier said than done; some people never develop useful crisis coping skills. This is a good time in your life to begin to learn these skills, as crisis often comes when you least expect it.

Crises, although painful, are common. They include:

Illness or accidents, especially if hospitalization is necessary.

Divorce or separation in your family.

Death of parent, close relative or friend.

Child abuse, including incest, violence, rape or emotional abuse.

Abuse of a parent, either physical or emotional.

What You Can Do

A person in crisis needs extra attention, love and support. Spend special time with them; talking, listening, sharing physical affection, or just be there. If you are in crisis, let your friends and family know. Tell them, talk to them, share your thoughts and fears, they want to help, they have been through some crisis or another too.

A person's fears will decrease if they talk to others who have been through the same situation. Be honest, yet still sensitive to their feelings. Tell them their feelings are normal, and that a good cry is actually healthy.

Get Help For Abuse
When there has been physical or emotional abuse, get help from social service agencies, guidance counselors, your clergy person or community groups. You and your family and friends will be able to get through these painful situations sooner if you use available resources.

Coping Strategies

Talk to yourself positively. Replace negative thoughts such as, "Nothing will be better from now on," or "Everything Sucks!" with realistic ones: "How could I know that?" "Is there any real reason to say that?" "Something good is going to happen to me soon."

Challenge your unrealistic negative beliefs, such as "I'm not capable of anything," "I can't trust anybody," "Nobody likes me," and "This can't be happening to me."

Analyze them as a scientist might; try to find the evidence hidden in your life. You will find at least one thing that you are capable of doing. You will find at least one person you can trust. You will find at least one person who likes you.

Something bad can happen to you just as it can happen to other people. After saying to yourself, "This did happen to me, now what do I do?", in time you will find a way to cope with it. After reading these strategies, make them more suitable for your own situation and write them down. Read them now and when you are feeling better. Coping strategies can get you through tough times and help you enjoy the gift of life!

For more on crisis management, see the Mental Health section...