Q.
What is the difference between a male and female
orgasm?
A.
The
most obvious difference in orgasms is that male orgasms are
usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen. Ejaculation
involves the secretion of semen into the urethra (urinary
canal) and a rhythmic contraction of pelvic muscles that forces
the semen out of the urethra.
In
males sometimes orgasms occur with or without ejaculation.
When men have orgasms without ejaculation, the pelvic muscles
contract and you feel like you're having an orgasm, but the
semen is prevented from being secreted into the urethra. Less
commonly, the semen is pushed backward into the bladder during
orgasm and appears as milky fluid that comes out during urination
after sex. This is called retrograde ejaculation and happens
occasionally when men try to prevent ejaculation during orgasm
and is usually not a sign of a disorder. However, retrograde
ejaculation does happen more frequently in people with diabetes
or after surgery, causing damage to the nerves around the
penis.
During
orgasm for a female, the rhythmic contractions take place
within the pelvic muscles as well as the walls of the vagina.
In most women, there is no fluid ejaculated during orgasm.
Another difference between male and female orgasm is that
women do not experience a refractory period and may have multiple
orgasms with continued or additional stimulation.
Check
out these articles: Female
Orgasm and Male Orgasm and also "Female Ejaculation."
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Q.
I read that there were phases
of an orgasm, is this true?
A.
Yes! The four phases of sexual
response are: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Arousal,
or feeling turned on, is a combination of mental arousal and
physical changes, such as a racing heart, rapid breathing,
flushing, increased sensitivity in the genital area, erection
of the penis, and swelling and lubrication of the vagina.
During the plateau phase, sexual and muscular tension intensifies.
During orgasm, sexual pleasure peaks and sexual tension is
released. The fourth stage is resolution, during which there
is a gradual return of the body to its baseline state accompanied
by a sense of warmth, pleasure, and relaxation. After orgasm
and ejaculation, most males are unable to have another orgasm
for a period of time. This refractory period depends on age
(younger men can need only minutes to fully -recover" and
older men may need an hour or more) and differs widely between
men.
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Q.
How long does sperm live after ejaculation?
A.
Although sperm can live for many weeks in the testicle, sperm
remains capable of fertilization only for about 24 to 48 hours
after ejaculation. YES, they have lived as long as 6 to seven days
in some studies, so I am sure someone will correct me on this.
No, they can not live on your jeans if they are deposited
there and the semen is dry. (Remember that blue dress in the
news?)
The
female egg is only able to be fertilized for 12 to 48 hours
after ovulation. This may be useful to those who are trying
to get pregnant. (Home ovulation kits are very accurate, btw).
People
often use this information to determine when it is least likely
to get pregnant with unprotected sex. These methods are called
the rhythm methods of contraception. Rhythm methods are not
reliable methods of contraception, and we DO NOT recommend
this "method" for teens. Also, this does not prevent
the transmission of STDs including HIV.
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Q.
Do condoms
"dull" my boyfriend's sensations during sex? Every time he
puts one on, he says he loses sensation, is this true?
A.
I get this question
a lot. It can take a while to get used to wearing a condom
when you use a them for birth control, or for STD protection.
Some men report that they actually prefer using a condom because
it dulls their sensations enough to slow down their urge to
orgasm, and make sex last longer. Others, like your boyfriend say that they can't maintain an erection while wearing a condom
because it desensitizes them or makes them feel entirely different
sexual sensations. Some say they "can't feel a thing".
After
a while your boyfriend may no longer feel the difference between
intercourse with or without the condom. Another suggestion
is for you two to experiment with different kinds, brands
and shapes of condoms. The thinner brands cost more, but are
still just as effective and do provide for more sensation.
Encourage him to experiment with different condoms, then you
can make this a pleasant part of your sex together, not a
burden. Crown condoms are "so thin you'll forget it's on". He should try thinner condoms. They are just as strong as the less thin ones, according to the manufacturers. Yes, of course they will dull the feeling a little, but an STD, or an unwanted pregnancy is not worth the risk. Trust me, I've tried all types of condoms in the past and they are all different for us gals too! Get crown and use a good water soluble lubricant with them. See this next question and answer.
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Q.
When my husband
and I have sex, sometimes I feel too dry inside and often
it hurts. There are also times when I feel a pain in my belly
when he is in too deep, any suggestions?
A.
Don't stress out
over vaginal dryness. You might just need a vaginal
lubricant and there are many to choose from, even the
generic brands work well. You can find them in the pharmacy
where condoms or spermicide are sold and they are not expensive.
Most brands will assist the gliding process. However, it may
also be that you are really not "excited" enough for intercourse,
therefore more foreplay may be required.
Spend
more time before the act getting interested and ready to participate.
Kissing, fondling, caressing and slowly getting into sexual
exploration may also be a part of the dance that's lacking
for you. If you have severe pain, seek medical help right
away. It may be an infection, inflammation or condition that
requires attention. BUT, tell him so together you can create
the pattern that's pleasing for both of you. Concentrate on
what feels good for both of you; inside and out.
Next...
