Parents
want to protect children from sexual abuse, but they can't
always be there to do that. Since that is the reality in life,
children and teens need to know about sexual abuse in order
to increase their awareness and coping skills. Without frightening
children and teens, we need to provide them with appropriate
safety information and support at every stage of their development.
Even the
best educated child or teenager cannot always avoid sexual
abuse, children who are well prepared will be more likely
to tell if abuse has occurred. This is a person's best defense.
As a teenager you need to know:
FYI,
no child or teenager is ever responsible for the actions
of an abuser, adult or otherwise. You may feel you are to
blame for your abuse. You may feel lots of different emotions,
this is normal and a necessary part of the 'healing process'.
Remember,
there is 'life' after abuse. If you talk to someone: a teacher,
a therapist, or a trusted adult, you may find that the feelings
of anger, shame, guilt and depression start to fade away
and that your life can have a brighter future, full of promise.
Even though your memories of abuse may never go away, you
can learn how to file them away into a place where they
will be safe and you will no longer be haunted by them.
Those nightmares may go away too, mine did.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There
is no magic cure for sexual abuse or incest. Each year, beginning
in 1999, the Incest Awareness Foundation will organize a "To
Tell The Truth Conference" for the greater New York area
in the U.S. Started in 1992 by adult incest survivors, To
Tell The Truth has become a nationwide network within which
survivors can be heard and can heal.
Many
people's lives are touched by incest. You may have a friend
or family member who is a survivor. You might be a survivor
yourself. The effects of incest on our community are staggering.
If you need someone to talk to about abuse or incest please
call RAINN at
1-800-656-HOPE
or in the United States, the Incest Awareness Foundation number
is 1-888
-547-3222. See the Hotline
page, there are new phone numbers there, I have had complaints
about RAINN!
See our Self-Injury page
for more on that topic.
Resource
on the Web, there are many good resources on the web, here
are some that I have found especially good for some reason:
Survivors
of Incest Anonymous, Inc.
World Service Office for Incest Survivors.
New A
Boy’s Story - The Spirit of Innocence, The Gift of
Sight
(a
must-see site for all survivors)
A male survivor's page
One
Survivor Speaks
I
am a survivor of incest and it feels good to write that now.
The incest started around age 3 and lasted about 7 years,
until I had the guts to tell my mum, who believed me. She
divorced my father and we moved far away from him. My father
was the perpetrator. I will spare you the details as I don't
think that's so important now. I didn't know then what other
kids did with their fathers, I never knew anything else. When
I realized that I was different around age 12 after talking
with girl friends, I started to self-injure. I think because
it felt like a release of some of the guilt and shame I had
about being an incest survivor... not victim. You see part
of me thinks that I "should" have told my mother sooner. But
I was a little girl and this was the secret my father and
I had. I didn't like it but I didn't know anything else. I
went through the "promiscuous stage"
when I was about 15- 17 and I knew that this was NOT normal
or healthy, so I found a therapist through my school. Then
I realized that this too was related to the incest in my past.
I think it touches every aspect of my life. Even if I don't
want it to.
I think cutting is about transferring the emotional pain to
the physical pain, I believe that is my situation. I cut or
injure myself with a knife that I have, it is not very sharp.
I
have been in therapy for about 5 years now. It has helped
a lot with the incest issue, but I am still cutting when I
feel anxious or upset. I think it is like a smoker who knows
it is not good for them but they keep smoking anyway. I hope
one day I can stop. I am no longer a victim, I AM a survivor
and now I can live through anything, so that is a start. Thank
you for letting me share this with you. Cindy, Age 23
-- Melbourne, Australia
Thank you Cindy for sharing a part of you with us.
Read:
“The Effects of Child Sexual Abuse On An Adult Survivor”.
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