Adult Survivors Speak Out!

WARNING: The “experiences” on this page, may trigger memories of 'survivors', please read with caution. Through the sharing of our lives and 'stories', we help ourselves heal and hopefully help others not feel so alone with this horrible crime that changes the lives of so many forever.

I don't have time for all the airy fairy, let’s gather crystals and dance naked under the moon bullshit. I’m angry and if I find one of those bastards who abused me I’ll rip their necks out with my bare teeth. Men have no idea the effect that taking a child’s innocence away has on later life. As they 'get off' with girls who are at the time powerless they would not care even if they did know how they are effecting a whole life. The shame of never feeling as good as others, and worse of all, that deep, heavy, dark shadow that is always sitting there inside, like someone downloaded a program into you when you were being manufactured and you cant erase it.- I wish some men could be erased. I will heal one day, but there will NEVER be forgiveness. - Someone in Australia -

I was sexually abused by my stepfather for years. At first it was strange to me, I think I was about 5 years old when he used to brush up against me, I didn't know why he did that. Later he went on to fondle my genitals, I believe this went on for about 8 years, although I still have periods of time that I really can’t account for -- like I was watching a movie and missed part of it. BUT, I do know it was all very real. I think it’s different when you are a man. Young boys are often sexually aroused when fondled, that's just a reflex by the body, but adds to the guilt and shame of it all. It just made it more confusing to me. I hated this man, I didn't want him to touch me and yet I would get an erection. I am told this is normal. I am still trying to remember that I didn't ask to be touched!!!

When I was around age 10, he started to rape me. He said no one would believe me if I told and that I would be sent to a foster home, away from my sister who I loved very much. I never told anyone until I was 15, then I told a teacher who knew that I was depressed, years later I found out she had been abused too. Back then, I used to kind of leave my body and go away into a dream world where he was not and when the abuse was done I would return. I had nightmares for years, I couldn't wait until I was old enough to get the hell out of there and go into the Air Force. I later went to college, but the abuse has touched every part of my life. I have two children of my own now, I cant imagine ever doing something so awful to my children. I don't know why some people are pedophiles, I just have to live my life the best that I can. I had to break all ties with my mother and stepfather when I went into the Air Force and I do not regret that. (I’m not suggesting that this is the correct thing to do).

If a child, teen or an adult tells you they were abused, just listen to them. No one lies about this nightmare. Thank you for reading this, I hope it helps someone. - Mark H., Baltimore, USA -

Thanks to you all, more soon, silence helps no one but the abuser.

Recommended Reading: Click on a image to learn more or to purchase.
We appreciate any sale made through us. We receive 2%, so that is not our reason for recommending books, although, the change adds up. Thank you!

Both of these are excellent and healing!

The Wounded Heart By Dan Allender - An intensely personal and specific look at the most "soul deadening" form of abuse, sexual abuse. It is personal because it may be affecting you, your spouse, a close friend or neighbor, or someone you know well at church. And specific because it goes well beyond the general issues and solutions discussed in other books.

When Rabbit Howls by Truddi Chase - To escape the horror of violent abuse, the two-year-old child "went to sleep" and created the inner world of the “Troops”, the 92 voices that shielded her from pain, but that she didn't know existed until adulthood. This is a journey through the fragmented world of the multiple personality (DID)-- told by the Troop.

The Courage to Heal Workbook For Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse By Laura Davis - In this groundbreaking companion volume to The Courage to Heal, Laura Davis has created an inspiring, innovative, in-depth workbook for all women and men suffering from the effects of childhood sexual abuse.

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, Featuring Honoring the Truth: A Response to the Backlash by Ellen Bass; Laura Davis - An updated and revised edition of the classic bestselling guide (more than 700,000 copies sold) that has inspired millions of women survivors of child sexual abuse and helped them down the road to recovery.

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