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 Being
shy is a tough thing at any age, but especially hard if you are a
teenager. It’s common for adults to be shy too, but you probably
don't notice it that much. If you're sick of hiding behind an invisible
wall of safety, follow these steps to leave shyness behind and come
out of your shell. Here's how to get started:
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- Make
a commitment to yourself to step away from shyness.
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- Take
notice of the situations where you feel shyness holding
you back most strongly.
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- The
next time you are in this situation, do something just
a little bit more outgoing than you would normally do
(smile, make eye contact, ask a question, etc.)
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- Relax
and remember that mistakes help you learn and we all
act like a geek at times.
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- Repeat
steps 1-4 until you have reached your desired level
of “outgoingness”.
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Tips
- This can
be a really tough process, don't give up, even when you get
discouraged.
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- Once you
cycle through the steps a few times it gets easier and easier.
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- It takes
a lot of practice, hard
work, and guts to get over shyness.
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 Practice
Allowing
myself to be more outgoing didn't happen overnight. I had to practice.
I had to start with small, easier things (smiling at people seemed to
work at first), and slowly work up to harder things (starting conversations
with girls or guys). Just like in sports, some people are born with
ability and some people have to work hard to develop it. It's the same
thing with being shy.
Hard
Work
There will be times when it just feels impossible to say "Hi"
to someone you like or to give someone a call. That's where hard work
comes in. You need to understand that it's in those moments that you
have the best opportunity to learn. Giving it a shot, whether you end
up "succeeding" or not during those tough times will get you
one step closer to beating this thing.
Guts
Basically it comes down to taking chances and risks. Do you have the
guts to do this? I know how scary it can be to stretch yourself beyond
your comfort zone (I've been there). It's OK to be afraid. Having guts
means having the ability to control that fear and do it anyway.
These
ideas are what I learned from my experiences with shyness. We'd really
like to hear about your experiences and ideas. Please share your wisdom
in the message board. What was your experience with shyness like?
Check out Self-esteem,
sometimes it takes just a bit of self-esteem to overcome shyness.
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