"I hate my hair!"
"I look fat in these jeans!"
"These zits are gross!"
"This class sucks!"
"I won't make the basketball team this year."
"Is that guy checking me out?"

Sound Familiar?  These are stressful situations for anyone, especially for a teenager. This is a very stressful time of your life and we live in a world full of all kinds of stressors.

Stress affects your body as much as food and exercise. A combination of emotional and physical pressures, it can either help you with challenges and problems or make them many times worse.

Which effect stress has on you depends on how YOU handle it. How you handle stress depends on being able to recognize it, knowing where it's coming from, and understanding your stress-management options so you can choose the best one for your situation. First things first. What is stress and how do you know if you're under it?

Stress is Not Just For Adults

Just try telling the average adult or a parent that you're under stress and your are sure to get a lecture. You'll probably be told that you don't know the meaning of stress. "Wait until you've got bills to pay and a real job and kids, then you'll know about stress!" WRONG! Everyone lives under some kind of stress. The stress you face at school for example, is probably just as tough as the stress work is putting on your parents. Your stress is as real to you as theirs is to them. Stress involves your body and your mind, which is why you need to learn how to not let it get out of control, but before you can begin to control it, you have to know what it feels like. Some people will NEVER learn this in a whole lifetime, but you can learn to manage stress if you want to. Here are some feelings that often come from stress, see if any of them apply to you:

tired a lot of the time

moods change for no reason

can't concentrate

cry over stupid things

can't sleep

headaches

fearful, but don't know what's frightening you

have nightmares a lot

palms get sweaty

accident prone

hungry all the time, no matter how much you eat

no motivation to do anything

loss of enthusiasm

Some people come down with the same symptoms every time they're under stress -- their palms get sweaty, or they find themselves running to the bathroom. Others react differently to each stressful situation. It's important to know how to respond to stress. Then you will know when it's affecting you, from there you'll be able to do something about it.

How Stress Works

Whenever you come up against something that upsets you in some way, like it scares you, frustrates you, angers you, makes you nervous, sad or pissed-off, a part of your brain shoots stress hormones into your body. They trigger changes in the way your body is working. They can make your heart beat faster, your palms sweat, they can put a lump in your throat and knots in your stomach. They can make you "wired" or they can make you drowsy. BUT believe it or not, although the sensations they cause are usually unpleasant, they can be very GOOD for you.

The reason humans have stress hormones in the first place is to warn us when we may be in trouble. Your heart starts racing when you're scared because it's preparing to help you speed away from danger. You would need those extra heart beats to help you get away from something threatening. You may have heard it called a "Fight or Flight" reaction. The jumpy nerves you may have when a big test, a sports match, or an interview is coming up can motivate you to spend extra time preparing for it. The sinking feeling in your stomach when you're not prepared for class may help you get your homework assignments done. And the discomfort you may feel when you break your parents' rules may help you obey them and stay out of trouble.

Stress Can Be Very Bad For You

Stress can be very bad your and your body. Anything that keeps your body from working normally for any length of time isn't good for it. If your stress responses are brief -- just enough to warn you of danger -- then they aren't much of a threat to your health. But when they go on and on, they can do a lot of harm. Too much stress can make you feel lousy, give you a bad attitude and make you a real drag to be around. But worst of all, it can make you very unhappy and keep you from doing all you could do to have the kind of life you really want.

It is hard to keep stress responses under control. The reason is that stress works in a cycle, like this:

Something upsets you, so the stress hormones are released from your brain, the hormones throw off your whole system. Your body sends back a message saying that it's in trouble. The message makes your brain even more upset, and so your brain sends out more stress hormones. They only upset your body more and so it sends another distress message back to your brain. AND how does your brain respond? By sending out more stress hormones, of course! (Hey, you are getting good at this... NOT!)

Learning how to break that cycle is the object of stress management. You can break the cycle by keeping your brain from sending out the stress hormones in the first place, or by keeping your body from reacting to the stress hormones from your brain. Sounds hard doesn't it? It takes a long time to learn, BUT before you can do anything about stress, you have to know where it comes from.

Stressful People, Thoughts and Situations, OR...
Self-made Stress and What You Can Do About It!

Self-made Stress?  What to do?

No one sets out to make his or her life stressful, so chances are you aren't aware of how you put yourself under stress. No situation creates stress by itself, it is how you think about the situation that makes it stressful... in other words your own perception makes it stressful. For example, if you think that no one at your new school is going to like you, then going to your first day of school is bound to be stressful. And chances are good then that no one will like you. If you think that eating too much will make you fat, then you are very likely to fell under stress at mealtimes. What makes a situation stressful is different for everyone. You probably know at least one friend who likes to get up and perform for other people, whereas the thought of standing in front of a group of people might make you feel like passing out. The difference is that she or he is thinking of it as a chance to show off, and you're thinking of it as everyone's chance to see what a jerk you can be.

Some of The Most Stressful Thoughts...

Thoughts can make you feel that you have no control over your life. Until you begin to believe that this is YOUR life, thoughts like this will continue to put you under stress. Yes, as long as you're a teen a lot of people will have power over you and even make decisions for you. BUT you can influence the way they use that power by expressing your own ideas, taking on more responsibility for yourself, and making an effort to understand why people do what they do. OR you can just let yourself get stressed-out easily. The choice is yours. We didn't say it was going to be easy.

Stressful Thoughts You May Want to Avoid...

dwelling on the worst

jumping to conclusions

exaggerating

being envious

being paranoid

worrying about what everyone else is thinking

worrying, no matter what it’s about uses up a lot of energy and can tire you out

Your parents, teachers, coach, and friends put stress on you when they expect you to do more than you think you can do, or when they want you to be different than the way you are. There are ways to deal with this stress that comes from their expectations. Remember, different people react differently to the same events.

Ways to Handle Stress

Get rid of what's causing the stress - if you can, (no, that doesn't mean your younger brother or sister or your parents).

Change your attitude toward what's causing the stress. (Easy to write, hard to do).

Face up to what's causing the stress until it isn’t stressful anymore.

Avoid hassles. Identify the things that stress you out and eliminate them or prepare yourself to cope   with them. Take a day off, that's what weekends are for.

Pursue a new hobby or sport. Take time to do what you enjoy.

Don't deny or repress your emotions, this only compounds stress. Don't be afraid to cry, crying can  relieve anxiety and let out bottled-up emotions which will relieve feelings of stress.

Work on creating a stress-free place in your home. Your room should be a safe stress-free place for you to go to. Decorate it so you find it calming, soothing and safe.

Family and Friends. When you can talk to your parents in a loving and secure family, then that can help relieve a lot of the stress that you bring home from other places. BUT home is not heaven for a lot of teens and you can often run into many stressful situations there as you would anywhere else. You may have a close friend or a friend's parent(s) that you can talk to instead.

If you feel you simply cannot handle the stress in your life, consider outside help. You may be able to talk to a guidance counselor at school, or you may want to consult a qualified counselor or other practitioner who can help you handle your problems and learn effective stress reduction techniques. It is often beneficial to talk with someone who can offer an objective response whether a trusted friend or a professional counselor.

Read about “Stress Management” and Self-esteem and see Stress Skills.

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