Suicide
is Forever
*
If you are feeling suicidal right now and you want someone
to talk to Click
Here for suicide helplines around the world. Call 911 in the United States. Stay on the phone with them until someone comes to you.
Always remember that there are phone numbers that you can call
24 hours a day, 7 days a week from anywhere in the United States:
 Every
100 minutes another teenager will commit suicide.
Suicide
is the second leading cause of death among people between
the ages of 14 to 25 in the United States.
The following
statistics were taken from a recent survey of college and
high school students by the CDC.
Twenty-seven percent of high school students said they had
"thought seriously" about killing themselves during
the past year. Eight percent said they had actually tried
to kill themselves.
Ten percent of U.S. college students admitted serious thoughts
about suicide. Seven percent had a suicide plan.
More
than 30,000 Americans commit suicide each year, and 5,000
of these people are teenagers.
Although
one of every eight teenagers suffers with depression, the
diagnosis is often missed, as depressive
symptoms are often mistaken for the typical 'ups and downs'
of teenage life. Even in societies where suicide is illegal
or taboo, people still kill themselves.
Most suicides
occur in the home between the hours of 3 PM to midnight. There
are 30 to 50 times as many attempted suicides as completed
suicides. Four times as many males complete suicide than females,
but female teens attempt suicide twice as frequently as male
teenagers.
Statistics
also show that kids from high-income families kill themselves
as often as those from poor or middle-class teens.
For every
teenage suicide, there are more than 100 unsuccessful attempts.
”Copycat” suicides spread the tragedy even further.
 People
who talk about suicide often commit suicide. All talk about
suicide should be taken seriously. People often have opposing
feelings about whether or not they want to die, so there is
always hope that they can change their minds if they receive
professional help.
Many who
attempt suicide are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Be aware of this signal. Many attempts are impulsive acts;
so be aware of the following warning signs.
If you
suspect a friend is contemplating suicide, take the initiative
and just ask the person, "Are you thinking about killing
or harming yourself?" and "How are you going to
kill yourself?" This will often get them to talk about
it. Be straight with them, get right to the subject. Tell
an adult, a teacher, a guidance counselor, or their parents
about your concern for your friend's safety.
There
is a suicide hotline phone number in almost every phone book
and on the Internet. In the U.S., call the Suicide
& Crisis Hotline 1-800-999-9999.
The Suicide National Hotline
in the U.S. is: 1-800-273-8255.
The person may get angry with you initially, but it may save
your friend's life.
Some people
who are suicidal are very good at hiding their emotional pain,
that is why it is okay to just come out and ask if you think
someone is hurting on the inside. Very often those people
are appearing cheerful and popular on the outside to mask
their pain and suicidal thoughts on the inside. See the “Survivor’s
Story”.
 Your
concern and intervention may be all that is needed to get
him or her to vent their feelings and change his or her mind.
If someone exhibits self-destructive behavior, this is often
a warning sign that he or she is seriously considering suicide,
not just trying to get attention, as it was once thought.
Remember,
just because a suicidal person may get professional help and
overcome his suicidal feelings, this in itself does not mean
those feelings will not return, especially when the person
is confronted once again by the stress and the problems that
caused him or her to consider suicide in the first place.
Often
teens think they are immortal. Remind anyone who is talking
about killing themselves that suicide is very permanent and
that you care if they are here with you in this world.
The numbers
are disturbing to many adults, and yet, they only partially
convey the tragedy of teen and young adult suicide. Each and
every victim leaves behind a void in the hearts of their friends,
their schools and an ongoing ache in the hearts of their families
and loved ones. I know, I am one of them.
 Some
Warning Signs of Suicide
Some warning
signs of suicide are:
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depression |
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anger
or hostility |
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inability
to feel pleasure |
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feeling
hopeless |
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isolation
or withdrawal |
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insomnia |
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sleeping
too much |
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loss
of appetite |
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preoccupation
with death |
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giving
things away that were once valued |
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ending
significant relationships or commitments (breaking
up) |
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sudden
uplift in mood after depression |
|
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sudden
change in behavior or disruptive behavior |
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promiscuity
(being very sexually active) |
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severe
outbursts of temper |
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excessive
substance use |
|
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absence
from school or work |
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inability
to carry out normal tasks of daily life |
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inability
to laugh |
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Some
Types of Suicidal Behaviors
About
60% of teen suicide deaths occur using a hand gun. Teen girls
attempt suicide far more often than guys (about nine times),
but guys are about four times more likely to succeed. Why
is this different?
Male teens
tend to use more deadly methods, like guns or hanging themselves.
Girls most often attempt suicide by overdosing with medication
or by some form of self-injury.
Suicide deaths can occur from pills, medications and other
harmful substances, especially if these substances are mixed.
Sometimes
a depressed person plans an act of suicide in advance. (Often
the planning of an act gives the person some feeling of control).
Most often however, suicide attempts are “impulsive acts”.
These
acts occur during a time of feeling overwhelmingly upset.
A situation like a breakup, an unintended pregnancy,
the death of a sibling, a fight with
a parent or boyfriend or girlfriend, being harmed by abuse
or rape, or being victimized
in any way can cause a young person to feel desperately upset.
“Coming
out” for homosexual teens
can also lead to suicidal attempts if that person is no longer
accepted by their family or friends.
In situations
such as these, teens may fear humiliation, rejection, social
isolation, or another consequence they think they can’t
handle. Suicide attempts occur under conditions like this
because in desperation and confusion, some teens see no other
way out.
Risk
Factors For Teenage Suicide:
|
Previous
Attempts -- Teens who attempt suicide
remain vulnerable for several years, especially
for the first three months following an attempt.
These people may become very clever about hiding
their true feelings. Keep in contact with them. |
|
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Personal
Failure -- High standards (the teen's
or the parents') that are not met, even after
only one setback, may set off a downward spiral
ending in suicide. |
|
|
Recent
Loss -- Death of close friends or family,
divorce, breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend
may leave a teenager so lost and alone that suicide
seems the only option. |
|
|
Substance
Abuse -- Some teens abuse drugs or
alcohol to self-medicate overwhelming depression;
a combination of depression, substance abuse,
and lowered impulse control can end in a suicide
attempt. This is often a fatal combination. |
|
|
Family
Handguns -- A gun in the house may
make it easy for a troubled teen to commit suicide;
children of law-enforcement officers have a much
higher rate of suicide because of the accessibility
of guns. If you think your son or friend is in
danger of harming himself, please have someone
remove that gun from the home! |
|
|
Family
Violence -- Violence in the home teaches
youths that the way to resolve conflict is through
violence. |
|
|
Lack
of Communication -- The inability to
discuss angry or uncomfortable feelings within
the family can lead to suicide. Anger turned inward
often leads to depression. |
|
Remember,
if someone you know says, "I want to kill myself",
or "I'm going to commit suicide", take the statements
seriously and immediately seek the help of a trusted adult,
such a teacher, nurse, parent or counselor.
Experts feel it’s
okay to ask a depressed teen if he or she is thinking about
suicide. Asking this question provides assurance that somebody
cares and might give the young person the opportunity to talk
about their problems. Also, take the time to learn more about
depression. You might just save
a life. The death of a young person is always a tragedy.
People with schizophrenia
have a higher rate of suicide than the general population.
Approximately 10 percent of people with schizophrenia (especially
young adult males) commit suicide. Unfortunately, the prediction
of suicide in people with schizophrenia can be especially
difficult.
Teens with Generalized Anxiety
Disorders may also be at greater risk for suicide attempts.
Talking
About Suicide — One Survivor’s “Story”
 "Suicide
is a subject often taboo to mention, and one that's likely
to get a mixture of reactions from people, its not something
I tell most people I meet. In the past, I've overdosed four
times and ended up in the hospital having my stomach pumped.
I have tried the toaster and the boom box in the bath tub,
it doesn't work, I don't recommend it. It’s not worth
getting hospitalized for a psychiatric reason. A psychiatric
institution is kind of like prison, although I have never
been in prison. They tell you when you can eat and where you
have to be when. You have no privacy. If I wanted to shave
(I am a guy), I had to have someone with me, to make sure
I wouldn't hurt myself. If I wanted to use my acne cleanser
pads, the nurse had to give them to me and watch me use them
because they have alcohol in them and some people would try
to suck on them, just to get their "fix" of alcohol.
Shoe laces are not allowed until they think you are no longer
a danger to yourself. So no shoe laces in anyone's sneakers
or shoes. You have to go to group therapy, even when you don't
want to. It is very regimented.
For a long time,
I've lived with the comfortable "emergency exit"
trap door in my mind, marked with "Well, if things get
too bad, I can always kill myself." At a particularly
low point a couple of years ago, I fantasized daily about
hanging myself. It was the final way out. The knowledge that
I didn't have to put up with the daily grind and pain of my
life if I didn't choose to, was sort of a comfort.
I'm not going to
advocate anything to you here, one way or the other. I have
no right to do that. Nor does anyone else have the right to
give such directives to another person. I am just talking
about my own experience, because maybe someone will read this
who feels suicidal sometimes.
If you're feeling
suicidal, and don't want to feel that way; you know that the
feelings are due to the pain, isolation, healing, or whatever
you're going through, and you want some pointers and things
to hold on to, to help to pull you out of your despair, then
I suggest you go to a support group and hear what they have
to say. You will realize when you are with other people who
have been very depressed that you are not alone with your
feelings.
As for me right
now? Well, I see a shrink and am in group therapy now. I like
the people in the group and their attitudes. But I'm also
still here, alive, taking antidepressants, with no definite
plans to kill myself at the moment. I have a partner, who
is a very large part of the reason why I want to stay alive
-- I really don't want her to feel the pain of my death. But
that doesn't mean that the emergency exit has been sealed
up. I just try to live my life one day at a time and I often
find that I do get pleasure out of life, from simple things
and I am glad to still be alive."
- Jerry,
age 19 -- California, USA - 2000
--
Update from
Jerry - Age 21, - Sept, 2002: I’m still here
on this planet. I’ve got a new job that I like, I still
see my shrink -- without him, I think I’d be lost or
dead. I am on medication which does help me a lot (it works
for me, not pushing it on anyone else). I’m glad to be
able to tell you that being a teen is so difficult at times,
I was very close to death at one point, but I’m really
happy to still be alive. Sure, I have my moments of 'darkness'
and doubts about myself and my future, and then they pass,
thanks to some unknown force. Good luck on your journey. If
you are feeling really down, call a friend; just keep trying
something.
Recommending
Reading:
(From Cool Nurse -- I have read all of these, all are very
good). Click
on the the book for more information or to order. If you could
only read one... I would chose, "No One Saw My Pain",
the middle one, it’s about Teenage Suicide.
Kurt Cobain filled dozens of notebooks with lyrics, drawings,
and writings about his plans for Nirvana and his thoughts
about fame, the state of music, and the people who bought
his music. Over 20 of these notebooks survived his many
moves and travels and have been locked in a safe since his
death (a suicide). Now, for the first time, his journals
reveal an artist who loved records, who knew the history
of rock, and was determined to define his place in that
history. A sad loss; great book! - January 26, 2003 - still
a bestseller.
When Nothing Matters Anymore
-
A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens - by Bev Cobain
In 1994, rock star Kurt Cobain ended his
struggle with depression and chemical dependency by taking
his own life. His suicide stunned millions of teens around
the world who identified with the music of his band, Nirvana.
Bev Cobain is Kurt's cousin, and this powerful book is her
way of dealing with his death -- and reaching out to teens
with lifesaving facts and advice. Bev defines and explains
depression, describes the symptoms, and emphasizes that
depression is treatable. Teens learn to recognize depression,
understand its effects, take better care of themselves,
and talk with people who care.
Always remember that there are phone numbers that you can call
24 hours a day, 7 days a week from anywhere in the United States. Don't get off of the phone, stay on the line. Try to get a friend to come stay with you if you are alone!
National
Suicide Prevention Lifeline Hotline Number (1-800-273-TALK)
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
US Suicide Hotline 1-800-999-9999
Kids Help Phone (Canada) 1-800-668-6868
Suicide
Prevention - The Trevor HelpLine - (Specializing in gay
and lesbian youth suicide prevention). 1-800-850-8078
1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)
Check out our Hotlines
page for additional hotlines if you need one.
MORE
related reading:
Check out the Suicide FAQ
page.
Check out
Depression and When
A Friend is Depressed.
Self-Injury and
'stories' from those who self-injure.
Take the
Quiz on Depression
& rate your knowledge.
A letter from a
teen to her friend who committed suicide.
What is Schizophrenia?
Social Anxiety and
Generalized Anxiety Disorders
Back to the Mental Health
Section
Some
Resources on the Web:
Prevention
of Suicide - Yellow Ribbon
Suicide Information
Help
After Loss - (Grief Net)
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